July 3, 2023

Skinny people are easier to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake. I read this admonition somewhere and I take it to heart.

Once, long ago when I encountered a dangerously disturbed older student moving toward our small learning group and menacing two of my knee-high innocent first graders, I reared up. Call it ‘Mama Bear’ syndrome, or ‘Outrage against the sheer effrontery and absurdity of it all’ or even ‘My Irish is up!’ I moved rapidly toward this student with every righteous intention. He took off running.

Later, I informed my frail and slightly shocked administrator that I would indeed have fallen on that obstreperous boy like a solid tree, squashing the twig. I meant it. Unsurprisingly, the bureaucrat offered something vague such as, ‘Well, we don’t want anyone to get hurt’.

Exactly. Try me again. So if you want to teach, if you really want to teach…eat cake. We’re harder to kidnap and we are not afraid of falling over…