My students have lost their collective minds due to the spring time change and the March doldrums.

One little one informed me that she was going to tell her Mom on me. I responded that I was going to tell my Mom on her.

That ended it…

Memories: when it was all a very bad dream…

On this second day of spring…as Covid is still claiming 1,000 lives daily, as the sun has rounded the bend of the cul de sac and shines so brightly on the south side of the house…I know three things.

It is an excellent thing to be able to talk to my Mother. So many persons have lost their family members.

I will never be called a ‘mega pop star’, for which I am profoundly grateful…an exorbitant waste of time.

It is astonishing to see so many commercials with the disclaimer ‘filmed before Covid’…so we know that as long as this country breathes, we shall apparently remain a litigious society.

But I remain grateful…

My nephew asks me, ‘What if the pandemic goes on until my birthday (next January)? Then people could only buy me presents from the Dollar Store and that WOULD’NT be good!’

He continues, ‘What if there’s no tomorrow?’

He thinks about it at length. ‘Why am I at your house, STILL?’

We both agree that today feels like it’s never ending…

‘Tis April again…with snow on the ground, and the birds sing low at the sill. ‘Tis April again…the air is blue black and there’s ice at the top of the hill.

But…’tis April once more and the chill at the door will be gone by the end of this day.

For the moon has turned over and the yard breathes of clover and the daisies are soon on the way…

April dawning…March, sir…go away! Time for blossoms now to play. Rain, rain…wash the clay…salt and grit and winter’s day. Earth, earth…grow and bend and lead us on toward sunshine’s end…our friend!

Thoughts on May:

In the month of May…as the full moon rises over fields of hay, yet unharvested…the air is pink and lush with heavy crabapple. And the dirt, the endless lawn dirt with layers upon layers of rocks…rising up out of the soil as waves. What will be hounded, how many of these stones will be thrown into piles or dragged away and reburied away from our property? As we build our garden…a place rife with joy, boundaries…peace.

And yet they rise…in the month of May…as the full moon settles over the sad Avenues…B, C and D at the crossroads of Saint Paul Boulevard and despair…the streets and alleys lying deep and forgotten in the middle of the Flower City’s sorrow.

And the air, the endless river air, thick with heating cement and cooking oil and leftovers from the House of Mercy…rising waves of a fetid breeze…who among them will be hounded, thrown into piles or jail or dragged away to other neighborhoods where memories are buried and plans dashed?

And yet they rise…building a garden or forging a weapon…in the merry month of May…

Yes! My shredder works!

It seems I have waited for this moment my entire life.

Mid morning…urgent email from downtown. ‘The system shows that you are missing attendance days. Please fix this by 1pm’. I look at the clock. It’s 11:30am. There are no fewer than 40 students listed…students with random names, random levels, random dates. There is a neat chart included in the email with all the attendance codes I can use.

These are my choices: P-Present, in person, P-Async-Remote, P-Sync-Remote, A-Unexcused-Absent-In Person, A-Unexcused-Remote, A-Excused-Absent-Remote, A-Excused-Absent-In Person, A-Alt-Alternative Special, T-Tardy Excused Remote, T-Tardy Excused In Person, T-Unex-Unexcused Remote, T-Unex-Tardy In Person.

I look at the ceiling. If there were a gun held to my head, I would not have an answer to this mess.

I dig around for a bit, finding a different chart where I am informed all of this can be fixed. I click on it and wait. Nothing. What was to be clicked, is grey and…unclickable.

I send off a polite email informing the powers that be downtown that I am unable to change anything on the chart. Silence.

I send another polite email indicating that this is unlikely to happen today, and certainly not by 1pm. The chart remains grey and unclickable. Silence.

Much later, an email arrives from downtown thanking me for attending to this matter and for fixing the problem. Everything is now in order and corrected in the system.

I look up at the ceiling…

I couldn’t stop the rain, that heavy rain. It fell and fell. You turned off the room fan so that I could listen more deeply.

February rains; how odd and disconcerting for I sense I am in April but I know I am in February and the gutters are full and filling and draining and you left early for an appointment.

I lit a red candle and crawled back into bed with a book, but my thoughts are elsewhere as it rains and flows and soaks.

Something is amiss when it pours in the month of hearts…

I’m waiting for new tires at Mavis…two hours already. I’ve watched ‘Inside Edition’…talked to other trapped customers. I’ve checked all of my accounts.

I’ve watched traffic go by. I’ve watched the weather report. I looked out the window. I am still staring out the window with the occasional glance toward the counter where the mechanic stands. He looks back at me.

I have heard from the other mechanic who pops in and out of the garage, that my tires are on their way from Greece. Greece is a suburb of Rochester. I thought it was possible that Greece (the country) was where my tires were traveling from. I am beginning to wonder.

I may now consider redecorating the inside of the shop. Not enough flow…

‘Hey! Hey…why is part of your hair white?’ A curious and verbose first grader is close to my face, staring at me. ‘Um, because my hair changes color’ I respond. ‘Oh, you mean like a grandmother?’ She looks at me. ‘Sure, why not?’ I look back at her.

‘Hey! Hey…’ Another one is pulling on my sleeve. ‘I’m in love with my shoes!’ I can’t have heard that correctly. ‘You’re in love with your shoes?’ Nothing should surprise me. He stares back at me. ‘No, no…I need help with my shoes!’ He puts his booted foot up on the chair. He cannot tie the laces. I sit down in the other chair. As I am tying them together, he says, ‘I’m learning to stand on one leg. I’m learning to jump up and down on one leg. Watch!’ He begins to jump. ‘Do you want your boots tied or do you want to jump? It’s time to go’.

‘No! No’ declares another. ‘It’s 1:39 and we don’t leave until 1:45’. ‘That’s only six minutes, girl!’ I answer. ‘Oh’ she replies. ‘Is that a lot?’

I look at the whirling mass of humanity on the rug. ‘Six minutes can be a long time and today it is definitely a long time’. Another student waiting in the growing line yells to me, ‘You have to go pick up your kindergartners!’ They are keeping track of my schedule, these little earnest ones.

My chubba bubba has stopped jumping and I finish tying his shoe laces. ‘Hey! Hey…how many people are in the world now?’ This random question comes flying at me as I’m trying to exit the room. ‘Um, we’re up to 8 billion…and they’re all here in this room, I think’. ‘What?’ a child looks incredulously at me. ‘Yea…I think they are all here in this room’. I’m convinced.

‘Hey! Hey…Maistra…Maistra!’ One of the obstreperous ‘elopers’ is pointing to his face and rambling determinedly in Spanish, while tugging at my sleeve. I’m not getting most of it and he looks fine. ‘You’re fine, I think…I hope. Go home. Time to go home!’ ‘Okay’, he responds. I extricate myself from the room and head down the hallway to herd a pile of kindergartners scrambled up together near the door…’Hey! Hey…’ they all start in talking as they lurch toward me…