So what I thought I heard her say was…’Oh, do you like hot dogs too?’ It didn’t seem quite right that this overly chatty clerk helping customers at Sterling Optical was asking me about hot dogs…but given the way the day had already rolled and my general malaise and knowing the world is often more weird than not…I ran with it. ‘Oh yes!’ I replied. ‘I love hot dogs. Who doesn’t love a good hot dog?’ I considered going further and mentioning my favorite condiments, but I held back.

She smiled brightly and said to another customer, ‘We just built a new deck so now we’re really all set’. I sat there and thought about all the hot dogs soon to be grilled on the deck. This was a happy conversation which suddenly slid slightly sideways when I heard her say cheerily, ‘Of course the weather needs to be right around 60 degrees. That’s ideal’.

This gave me pause. Of all the hot dogs I have ingested over the years, never once was 60 degrees held up as the ideal eating temperature. 20 below in February…chili dogs with onions. 100 degrees in July…dogs with mustard, ketchup and relish at the ball park.

I looked at her, confused. She chatted on happily…such a non-stop chatter, this one. She turned away from the customer at the counter and addressed me again. ‘You know…when you have to get out and go right in the house, 60 degrees is just about perfect!’ The customer standing there nodded politely in agreement. I looked away and swallowed carefully. Hot tubs. Not hot dogs.

I shifted in my seat and stared vaguely in the general direction of a pile of glasses frames lying on the table in front of me. Considering my aforementioned malaise, the trick now was to extricate myself from this conversation without having to explain anything…hot dogs, hot tubs, condiments, my inadequate hearing.

I stirred slightly, edging ever so slowly in another direction, away from the clerk, the counter and the general business of buying new glasses.

She didn’t miss me.

Overall, the visit to Sterling Optical was a success. I ordered bi-focal contacts and new glasses. They don’t sell hearing aids. She thinks I own a hot tub. I know she owns one and likes to talk about it. What I don’t know is if she likes hot dogs. I’m not sure whether the other customers own hot tubs or eat hot dogs.

I’m glad I did not mention condiments…